Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
