but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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