she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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