It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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