wanna go halves on a baby?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
