I'm drive I can fine osifer
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
