Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I think your dad took our porno
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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