HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He shit in the fireplace
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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