from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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