Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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