so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
