We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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