oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
