Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
