her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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