I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
