so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize