your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
