She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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