i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
how does that bad decision feel?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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