But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
