Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
