I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Randomize
