can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
