so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
