someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Michael Bay diarrhea
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
