Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
