it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
