We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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