He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
