is your mom at the bar?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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