me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
