yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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