apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
