I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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