I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
