in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
