Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Randomize
