why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
