The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
