I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize