Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
