At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
