the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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