I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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