Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize