You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
