It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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