By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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