he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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