I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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