A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I came so hard my ears popped.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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