Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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