I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
