You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
