I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I got inside last night via doggy door
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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