i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
