What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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