I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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