There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
