U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
