I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
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you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
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I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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