was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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