hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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