I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
