I molested 6 butterflies tonight
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
