11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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