I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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