You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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