She said her name was "party"
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
