You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
