this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
