that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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